Take the Picture | Dealing With Family Pictures After a Loss | Whitney Beth Photography
 

Today is August 31st. It may appear to be a seemingly unimportant day, but for me it is a day of reflection. Two years ago today was Banks’ due date. Two years ago today I had a painful reminder of what my reality had become. But why bring this up? In May, we have a birthday party for Banks and celebrate his short, little life. So why now, in August? In the photo world, fall is lovingly referred to as, “family picture season.” (Think of it like April for accountants.) This post is for all you mama’s out there with babies waiting for you in Heaven. As the leaves change and the world erupts with color, take family pictures. 

I know. 

I know how painful it is, believe me. I know once the stress of picking outfits and driving to the location and all the bribes have worn off and you see your pictures you’ll be met with an unmistakeable sorrowful joy. 

I know the pain of seeing a family picture of you and your husband surrounded by almost all your babies. The agony of never being able to have a “completed” family picture in this lifetime. It breaks my heart to watch my boys grow up in front of my lens without their brother and sister there to contribute to the memories. 

I know. 

I know that whenever I stare off and look at my family pictures that decorate my walls I will forever be searching, yearning and wishing that I could see those smiling, chubby, little faces pressed against ours. That it will always feel like someone’s missing when we are all together. Not having all of my babies together is the worst thing I have experienced, and I’m sorry we have this in common. 

As hard as it is, and as empty as it my seem, it’s still important to take the picture. Take all the pictures. Get yearly family portraits done. fill up your cloud with cell phone pics and snapshots of your life.

The grief of losing a child never goes away, but don’t let it overshadow all the other blessings in your life. This is something I think about every.single.time we take a family picture. I do it not only for me, but for my kids. I want Jones and Fields to see themselves grow through pictures. To get excited when we update the yearly photos on our walls. We’ve found ways to remember and incorporate our angel babies into our photos. Peyton’s nursery theme was to be peony’s and Banks was to have pine trees - both are symbols now and a tender mercy when we see them together as a family. 

If I had my way, we would not have had to go through this and I would have all my babies earth side. But I don’t have my way, I have to trust that my Heavenly Father knows what’s best, despite how painful it may be. The only thing I have the power over is how we proceed moving forward. So we live our lives, and miss our babies, and we take family pictures. ♥️

If any of you mamas out there are struggling with this and want to talk, feel free to reach out. There is healing in talking.